If My House Were Fairy Tail
by ClassySinnamon
Summary: Every single thing said here. Has been said in my household. We're pretty much insane.
1. chapter 1

Wow, so apparently a lot of you wanted fanfiction so i present to you Chapter 1.

_

It was the morning of a day I clearly don't remember and have no intentions of trying to remember.

This day marked the day that my family and I started to question my dear brother, Gray's, sexuality. And here is why.

"Gray, STOP TRYING TO EAT ALL THE FUCKING POPTARTS." Natsu yelled from downstairs. Dammit Natsu, why did you have to wake Wendy up from her sleep? It was an amazing dream too. Sigh, oh well. I mean, it isnt the first time her brothers would wake her up with all their ruckus. And I can guarantee you, it won't be the last.

She forced herself up and began to walk down the stairs. God she was tired. She knew she shouldnt have stayed up until four in the morning watching Riverdale. Unfortunetly for her, _s_ _omeone_ had left _his_ trousers in the middle of the staircase

What on earth were they even doing there to begin with? Wendy didn't see them, Of course she didn't. Poor Wendy, if anyone had been watching her, they would think for even the slightest second that she was flying.

But if _her_ family would have seen her, I can guarantee you, they'd be bawling out in laughter. Wendy didn't feel any pain, yet. She was internally debating whether she would stay there, on the floor, and go back to sleep, or get up and deal with the stupidity of her brothers. Eh the second one sounds more entertaining.

Wendy lifted herself from the ground and felt a sharp stabbing pain in her side. She slightly winced and mumbled, "stupid mario kart underwear."

The pain slowly had subsided as she walked into the kitchen to greet the rest of her family. Sometimes she questioned if she was even related to them. As in sometimes she means all the time.

"Morning Wendy," Gajeel yawned as he closed the fridge holding his "energy drink."

Wendy tried his "energy drink" once. They tasted like soda pop but with that cherry medicine flavor. Yuck.

"Morning Gajeel," Wendy also yawned. Man arent they contagious. Wendy rubbed her eyes,"What time is it?"

Erza checked her watch,"7:45AM."

Wendy's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. I mean, it was Saturday. You're suppose to sleep in on Saturday's. Wendy groaned and looked over to the duo who woke her up.

"Im telling you Natsu, these are my poptarts, not yours," Gray argued,"THEY EVEN HAVE MY NAME ON THEM."

"But i bought the poptarts and you're the one who ate almost all of them!!"Natsu pulled the last poptart package from Gray's grip. Gray pulled them back," I Was Here first, first come first serve."

"Age before beauty!!" Natsu gritted his teeth. "Are you calling me pretty?" Gray questioned. "Sure, now give me the fucking poptarts."

Erza sighed and looked over to Wendy, "I swear it's war everyday in this kitchen."

_

During breakfast Gajeel managed to get into the arguement of who would eat the last poptart. He declared himself "Worthy" of it. Which recieved a snort and retort from Natsu and Gray. And then it went silent. It's never silent.

Gajeel cleared his throat, "Wendy we have to tell you something." He sounded pretty serious. Wendy raised her brow and looked over to Gray and Natsu who also had a serious look on their face. Honestly, it was one of those rare occassions when they were serious. So it had to be important.

"What?" Wendy adjusted to the tension in the air.

Gray took a deep breath and spoke, "You're adopted."

Okay she knew it was too good to be true. What are they expecting? For her to start crying? No. Wendy stood up from the chair she sat in, "I knew it. I knew I was too smart to be related to any of you. I've never been so glad to hear news like this."

Natsu started laughing but quickly stopped when he heard what was said, "wait what.."

"Well that backfired." Gray snickered. "Did you just call us stupid??" Gajeel asked. Wendy laughed, "Maybe."

" _Rude._ " Natsu teased an unamused smile

Erza rolled her eyes playfully and laughed a bit before speaking up, "Anyways, I've decided that later we could go walk around Hollywood, if you guys want. "

Natsu grinned, "Hot girls, Cool cars, famous people? 'Bout time i head back home."

Gray snorted, "The only way you'll ever become famous is if you somehow manage to get your head stuck inside a trashcan."

Natsu hissed at Gray causing a fit of laughter at the table. "So it's settled?" Erza asked.

"Yeah sure," Gajeel nodded as they continued on with breakfast.

_

They took a little longer than expected because they were arguing on who would get to be shotgun. There were a few grumbles and groans when Wendy was declared the winner. And whoever is shotgun, is also in charge of the music.

"I'm not okaaaay! im not okaaay!!" Wendy jammed out to MCR in the front seat. Everyone but Erza and Gajeel looked unamused.

Gray groaned, "Wendy and her emo music."

The car went silent. The music has stopped playing. We knew Gray was stupid, but not _this_ stupid. Let's just say Wendy tried to claw out Gray's eyes. If it weren't Erza pulling over, I can guarantee once again, Wendy would have thrown Gray out the window. And then run him over.

At last they arrived at Hollywood. They walked around buying a couple things. "I forgot there's a lot of weird people here," Gajeel whispered as he reffered to a drunk dressed up as Tinkerbell. Welp, childhood ruined.

They continued walking as a man passed by. His muscles and skin were so well toned. He was extremely good looking too. He looked like he was in his early 20's. This caught Erza's attention as she followed his body lifting her sunglasses to make sure she was seeing correctly. Wendy did the same thing except she didnt have glasses, "Holy moly.."

And then everyone looked at Gray who seemed to be gawking at the guy, "Holy crap he's hot." He whispered a little too loudly.

Oh boy was this gonna live with him for the rest of his life. Everyone stared at Gray with questioning eyes before Natsu blurted out, "That would explain so much."

Gray realized everyone was staring at him, "What?"

"Dude, that was so fucking gay." Gajeel spoke out for everyone. Gray took a couple moments to process what was just said, "What."

Erza laughed, "Anyways we are gonna have to head back home in about two hours so let's just have fun."

Selfies were taken. Selfies with people made of wax. They took a photo with a transformer. Bumblebee to be exact. The photo was a bit, weird. Natsu's eyes were crossed, Wendy was sticking out her tongue, Gray showing a peace sign, and finally Gajeel, was kissing the transformer?

While eating at a restaurant, Natsu met a Deadpool and asked him politely to stop eating his enchiladas. Which caught the attention of a nearby spiderman and thus somehow began a whole debate on where the best local enchiladas were located.

On the car ride back, Natsu had managed to get shotgun. But fortunetly for everyone, Erza had temporary banned music, so the car ride was silent..barely

They arrived home and were welcomed by Lily, Gajeel's Cat.

If Gajeel had to choose between saving the world or saving his cat. He'd go for the cat.

Gajeel cuddled his cat, "Come on Lily, let's go take a bath." He said As he disappeared upstairs.

This received a lot of concerning looks, but they let it pass since Gajeel was just weird like that.

I guess everyone has their weird quirks...

After everyone had showered they all gathered around ,except for Gray, who was watching TV.

Wendy whispers, "Do you guys really think he's gay?"

Natsu nodded, "Didnt you see the way he was staring at that guy?"

Gajeel butted in, "He's gay. I bet He's been gay for a while."

"Why dont we just ask him?" Erza bluntly stated. After much controversy, Natsu was unwillingly selected.

"Gray." Natsu sat next to him with a soft expression. Gray turned to him, "What?"

"Are you gay?" Natsu said with a serious tone. Without hesistating Gray replied, "No."

Natsu, clearly not convinced, asked again, "Are you sure?"

Gray looked back to the T.V losing interest in the conversation, "100%"

Natsu nodded, "Okay." He turned his head toward the hallway, where everyone awaited an answer, and signaled a "no."

Gajeel whispered loud enough for Gray to hear, "You would think he would have come out the closet by now.."

Everyone looked in Gajeel's direction with the "are you fucking kidding me" look.

Gray growled, "IM NOT GAY YOU FUCKERS." And walked past them to his room. Everyone either glared or rolled their eyes in Gajeel's direction.

"What?"

_

It was around Nine at night when Gray started yelling, "ERZA!! The stupid cat scratched the curtains again!"

Gajeel froze as he stopped petting Lily, which caused the cat to start whining. If looks can kill you, Gray would be dead. Gajeel marched upstairs holding his cat protectively and busted Gray's door open. "DON'T you DARE talk about Lily that way! And how DARE YOU accuse my precious angel of such a crime!" Gajeel glared.

"It could have been Natsu for all we know!" Gajeel huffed in anger as Natsu yelled from downstairs, "HEY!!"

And once again, this started an uproar between the three.

_

For it already being past midnight, everyone was asleep. Except for Natsu. He had decided he would eat the last poptart since there was no one there to stop him. Natsu looked inside the cupboard but noticed the box missing, "I swear to god," Natsu spoke to himself quietly,"Gray you better not have-" He spoke again before being interrupted by wrapper noises.

He turned around to see the one and only Gray. He stopped and stared at the poptart in Gray's hand.

"What?" Gray bluntly asked.

"OH HELL NO."

Plates were broken, screaming was heard. Wake up the entire neighborhood why dont you?

Erza came running downstairs with a bat,"WHO THE FUCK IS THERE?"

She stared at the sight of Natsu and Gray on the floor fighting with one another.

Let's just say

Erza did use the bat that night.

_

Chapter 1 Completed.

Was it good?

Hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Chapter 2: Ding Dong

And here we are once again. Same old routine. Waking up by the sound of people arguing. Tripping over someone's Superman trousers. Wendy doesn't know how she manages but she does. It's once again another Saturday. But let's look on the bright side, the arguing didn't start until about nine o' clock.

ANYWAYS, Breakfast was going absolutely amazing, And calm. Thus only growing Wendy's suspicions. Either there was enough pop-tarts to feed the hungry beasts, or chaos was going to erupt soon. It was most likely the second one.

"Gajeel, did you eat the last poptart?" Gray slammed the empty box of pop-tarts in front of Gajeel as Gray glared straight into his soul.

"No," Gajeel blantly said as he continued eating his piece of toast with jelly. Natsu set a box of cookies on the table gently in front of Gajeel, "Gajeel, come on, let's just negotiate on this" He said.

Wendy raised an eyebrow, this reminded her of that Good Cop, and bad cop scenario. Only both were played by the stooges.

"I did not eat the pop-tart now leave me the hell alone." Gajeel huffed in annoyance.

Someone's grouchy.

"Gajeel if you don't fucking confes,--" Gray said before being interrupted by Wendy taking the box of cookies and walking away.

"I confess to eating the last pop-tart," Wendy smiled innocently as she took a bite out of a cookie.

"Wendy, YOU SHE-DEVIL," Gray yelled as he lunged at Wendy. Before he can get to her Erza threw a spoon at him, "If you four don't shut the hell up."

You know, I always wondered why she used a spoon. Like did she just find whatever was closest to her? Or was she like, "Oh look a spoon. I'll just throw this at gray and hope it knocks some sense into him."

I bet you read that in Erza's voice.

OR maybe a spoon is her choice of weapon? _War Flashbacks to the Bat incident..._

Yeah no ..I doubt that's the case. where was I? Oh right.

"He- OW, WHAT THE FUCK," Gray shouted as he got spooned. Okay, yeah, that sentence did NOT sound right to me what so ever.

As so the chaos begins. Wait? You thought that was chaotic? HA. I don't know if you can tell but I'm laughing in your face right about now.

 _Ding Dong_.

Ah, that bell...that damn bell.

Gray shouted, "I'LL GET IT," he proclaimed as he rushed to the front door.

"Uh..hello?"

Ladies and gentlemen meet Lucy Heartfilia. Natsu's future girlfriend. He just doesn't know it yet. Let me tell you they are such a slow burn. Like, JUST FUCKING KISS ALREADY. DAMN.

Anywho.

"Oh hey, you're Lucy right?" Gray made a face I guarantee you would scare the living fuck out of you.

"Uh, yeah, um, is Natsu here?" She twiddled with her fingers. "Yeah he is, just a second." Gray said as he moved his head back into the house.

"NATSU YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND IS HERE." Gray yells and he turns back to Lucy and smiles.

"A-actually we're not dat--" Lucy stutters with embarrassment has Erza'a voice is heard.

"THERE'S MY FUTURE SISTER-IN-LAW." She yelled as she made her way down the hallway.

And then you have a laughing Wendy and Gajeel in the Background. May i also add the

flushing red Natsu trying to convince Erza that they're not dating.

 _Trying_

Unfortunately she left three hours later after getting her faced stuffed with baby pictures of natsu.

Ms. McGarden, decided to show later that day too. It was probably around three in the afternoon.

Gajeel was taking a bath when she got there. Gray answered the door. Blah blah blah.

So here's the actual comedic part of the story. Gajeel was taking a bath with his cat. And Gray called him out.

 _Ding Dong_

Wanna know what happened? No? Ok, I'm telling you anyways.

"I'll get it!" Gray yelled as he matrix his way through the living room and answered the door.

"Uh hey Gray, Is Gajeel here?" Levy waved with her gorgeous smile.

"Oh wassup Levy, and yeah he's here, just a sec." Gray said as he repeated his routine from earlier.

"GAJEEL GET OUT OF THE BATH WITH YOUR CAT, IT'S THAT GIRL YOU HAD THAT DREAM ABOUT."

From downstairs you can hear a giant splash and yelling, "SHUT THE HELL UP GRAY," Gajeel yelled.

Gray looked back at Levy who had a concerned look on her face.

"He'll be out in a minute." Gray smiled innocently.

And now you have a laughing Wendy, Erza, and Natsu. Ah yes.

Levy's stay was shorter than expected. She just needed to drop off the notes Gajeel gave her back. It was the most awkward situation when Gajeel finally got downstairs.

Lmao. Hey has it ever occurred to you that "Lmao " sounds like

"EL Mayo."

You'll never see that word the same now :P.

Anyways it was about 4 almost 5 ish. When Gray got his next victim. Which was himself. I'll explain in a minute but honestly, we had the most visitors that day than we have had in a month. Unless you count David our mailman. #ProtectDavid2K17

 _Ding Dong. (I poked my eye typing this)_

"I GOT IT!" Gray yelled has he somehow managed to get down the stairs in like 2 seconds. I mean the man didn't even look like he was stepping on the stairs. He like fucking flew over the stairs I'm not even kidding.

Back to the point.

Gray swung open the door with a grin on his face to see who he can humiliate next. His smile faded.

In the doorway stood Juvia Lockser. A.k.a meet the new neighbor.

"Um Hello, I'm the new neighbor that just moved in next door, I thought it would he polite to introduce myself. My name is Juvia, it's a pleasure to meet you." She said sweetly as she made the hand gesture to greet.

"I, uh. Um." Gray blushed heavily, "The name is Gray," He said as he took her hand and shook it.

Natsu walked to the door where the two stood with a cookie, "Who is it?" He questioned as he looked over Gray's shoulder. He snickered and walked away making sure he said it in the loudest voice ever," OH LOOK, IT'S GRAY'S WIFE."

He took a bite before disappearing into the living room. Leaving a flushed Juvia and Gray.

Revenge is best served cold.

It was so about eleven at night when Gray screamed in the bathroom, "HOLY SHIT."

"What's with the noise?" Natsu mumbled grumpily as he leaned against the doorway rubbing his eyes. Soon everyone had crowded the restroom.

"I have a confession," He mumbled. Erza suddenly popped in the bathroom with Confetti, "CONGRATS ON BEING GAY."

Gray scowled, "NOT THAT. I was going to say, I have a crush on the new neighbor." He whined. [in case you're wondering this is kinda Gruvia pair is like the edolas version ]

He groaned into the sink as he started mumbling a ritual (im kidding )

"Jesus, you woke me up for this?" Gajeel growled as he began to leave as did everyone else.

"Also I ate the last pop-tart."

"HOW COULD YOU

"Wow."

"GRAY YOU FUCKER."

welp sorry for the long wait! school and all!


End file.
